Sassi, You Deserve Better!

           Sassi Photo by M Barrett Miller

Say hello to Sassi.
She lives on the streets of Seattle. 
Well, in doorways, under the freeway, in the greenbelt. 

She's been on her own since age nine and has experienced about everything your mind can come up with-

Sassi has lots of challenges, though retains a sliver of humor about her abilities, and inabilities, with herself and others in society.

Dumpster diving to find treasures that can be can be turned into art brings her a few coins an hour from people passing by where she’s hanging out.
She doesn’t have a license to sell, or to solicit donations, so she hopes what she creates will please enough people to keep her going.

I told Sassi about my videos entitled “Am I the Face of Homelessness?’ I showed her a couple so she could see my approach.
Funny, she knew one of the ladies I recently interviewed.
Small homeless world!
She was fine with me shooting some video as I asked her a few questions.
I deleted the video I shot, as it was just too hard to watch.
Sassi asked me to come back and visit with her some more.
Maybe I will-

M Barrett Miller

Let Kids Be Kids, Inc.

Jumping for Joy!!!

Dear Let Kids Be Kids,

               I am writing to inform you that you have been nominated for a Center for Service and Community Engagement “Spirit of Community” Award.

Congratulations!

In considering award recipients, we asked the Seattle University community to nominate a community partner who exemplifies the CSCE goal of creating strong reciprocal partnerships in order to foster social change and contributes positively to the development of reflective, creative, compassionate, and just student leaders.

                    On behalf of the Center for Service and Community Engagement, congratulations on your nomination and thank you for your partnership!

15 March 2013

Thank you. And thank you for sending this great letter just when we needed it!!

M Barrett Miller

Let Kids Be Kids,Inc.

A Special Person...

Megan & Jay

Megan Anne and Jay, her son, aged fourteen, are only two of the more than 8,000 Special Olympics volunteers in Washington State.
Their generosity, and the volunteerism of others, helps support more than 7,000 athletes participating in various sports.

Megan began her involvement when she was a fifteen-year-old high school student in Everett, Washington.
She had recently returned to the states from attending school in Dublin, Ireland, where, among other things, she saw, though maybe not totally consciously, how many disabled people were totally integrated into society.
In Dublin she occasionally ran into film crews working on “My Left Foot’, the story of Christy Brown and his struggles to be accepted by his family and society in the forties and fifties.
She definitely heard the Pogues singing their tribute to Christy in their song “Down All the Days.” Later U2 added that song to their 20^th anniversary edition of “Actung Baby”.
St. Brendan’s School – Clinic, where Christy went to school, wasn’t that far away from where Megan lived in Sandymount.
The school she attended in Booterstown-Blackrock was academically robust.

When she returned to the states didn’t feel overly challenged academically, or socially, in her high school and looked to do something more important with her time. After looking at different opportunities she met Robert, a school counselor, who coached Special Olympic athletes.
It all came together-

Over the years Megan has continually volunteered to serve Special Olympic athletes, as she held down a full time position in a women’s clinic and raised her boy to be the stellar young man he is today.
For the last two years she’s been in a public school classroom assisting with the education and development of “Special Ed” kids coping with an assortment of challenges.
Watching her interact with these kids, and the adults on her Special Olympics team, illuminates all the lessons offered by the great Sages.

Last weekend her Special Olympic basketball team, the Black Knights, won the state championship. They were undefeated in the regionals, and in the double over time shoot out for the championship.
This is their first time basking in gold!
Well deserved!
The team members dedication, perseverance, and skills are a tribute to Robert, who is still coaching, and to Megan and Jay who have dedicated a lot of love and time to bring both to others in need.

Thank you Megan, Jay and Robert for being who you are-

M Barrett Miller

Let Kids Be Kids, Inc.

"Am I a Monster?"

Photo by M Barrett Miller

Am I a Monster?

On a daily basis we are hearing, and reading, more about the suicide rate in the military.
In addition to those dismal statistics it has become mainstream news that many people returning from one, or multiple tours, from Iraq or Afghanistan, are coming home broken.
Many face challenges beyond their abilities to cope.
Many find family relationships frayed beyond repair.
Many cannot find employment.
More are showing up on the streets homeless and lost.
Many are wandering around inside their heads trying to avoid the message that they became a monster over there.

Paul, a Seattle resident, faced the fury of the Viet Cong and North Vietnamese when they swooped down on the South Vietnamese, American and allied troops on 20 January 1968, forever know as the Tet Offensive.
Paul was part of the intensive fighting around Huế that lasted a month.
It concluded when the city was destroyed, as the Communists were executing thousands.
Paul spent another seven months slogging through the muck in pursuit of the VC.
After his tour, and a rotation back to Pendleton, he left the Marines in hopes of putting it all behind him.
He never did-
Paul spent the rest of his life getting high and incredibly drunk whenever he could. He couldn’t hold a regular job so he honed his skills working with stone. He was good at molding boulders to his will in the most amazing ways. His talent brought him work, as his addictions burned up the money.
His relationships were destroyed.
His kids avoided him.
Four trips to 21-day rehab clinics did nothing.
He couldn’t find any peace.
He couldn’t stop drinking.

As the years passed his military service became more irrelevant.
The monster that his inner voice created only quieted when he was out cold in an alcohol daze.
1968 might as well have been when the dinosaurs roamed.
Paul was irrelevant.
Paul was alone.
Paul was dying inside.
Iraq and Afghanistan got all the news. 
Paul had a very difficult time talking about his experiences beyond clipped words that slipped out half way down the bottle of Jack.
He knew I knew, so not a lot had to be said.
He experienced what I had not, but he knew I knew.
We hung out quite a bit.

Paul’s reactions, and integrations of his experiences, are not all that unique to many I know, or knew, who fought in Vietnam.
Many returned to live out “normal” lives.
Many did not.
Many still deal with the stink of the jungle and all it brought to their young souls.

Paul died of guilt.
Sure, his liver was shot from years of booze.
The docs also blamed Agent Orange, though that may have been to give him some last day coverage and lesson his deathbed shame.
His family had gathered around his hospital bed though he may have never known it, as he never opened his eyes those last few days.
Paul was a good guy broken by more than he could ever carry.

Today’s story, carried by the AP, is the truth, whether we want to accept it or not.

“… WASHINGTON (AP) 22 FEBRUARY 2013 –A veteran of the wars of Iraq and Afghanistan, former Marine Capt. Timothy Kudo thinks of himself as a killer – and he carries the guilt every day.
“I cant forgive myself,” he says. “And the people who can forgive me are dead.”

I’m sorry Paul that there was no cure for you and no relief from your guilt.
I miss you-
Semper Fi

M Barrett Miller
Let Kids Be Kids, Inc.
 

Aspen-Sharing Knowledge and Saving Lives

   Aspen visits the U. Photo by M Barrett Miller

On Friday 8 February, Barbara Velatequi, Health Teacher at Newport HS, Bellevue, Washington (on left in group photo) brought herAspen students to visit Stella Gran-O' Donnell, MPH, MSW, Ph.D.c, School of Social Work, University of Washington, graduate level class, in order to demonstrate peer education.

The UW students were dazzled by the variety of teaching tools the kids use to teach about Diversity, HIV/AIDS/STI's. They were further impressed by the poise, confidence, knowledge and commitment that these high school students are making to a program that is educating, and saving lives, in their greater community.

Erick Seelbach (center of photo) U.S. Dept of Health, stated that these high school students have the best program in the country.

I agree!!

See my previous articles written after my first, and second, visits with these students. 

 135 students applied for one of the 26 positions on the Aspen team for 2013-2014. After a long review process that number dropped to 105. After more review there were 52 students left in the competition. These remaining students would share their desire to be part of the team in a fifteen minute interview conducted by Ms. Velatequi. (Present team members also go through this process if they want to continue with Aspen from year to year.)
26 sterling students have recently been chosen to represent the school and Aspen. 

Of concern to this wonderful program is present consideration by the state to drop Health Education, as a requirement, in 2017. Hopefully there will be enough outcry in our communities to continue educating our children in ways that honor their need to be truly educated.

* My articles, referenced above, have generated responses from all over the world. Many who write me are health care workers in the third world trying their best to help so many who are sick, or at risk.
They share their wish for any education in their communities.
When they read about young people teaching other young people they are overwhelmingly envious.
Saddly, I inform many who write me that this Aspen program is not the norm and that peer education, or any education, on topics that touch on sexual matters, gender acceptance, needle exchanges, birth control etc. are not allowed in many districts, or in many religious schools, throughout the country.
Until we collectively grow up, and demand better for our kids, we will hear statements similar to the following when one realizes they are infected.
"It just wasn't going to be me!"   

M. Barrett Miller
Let Kids Be Kids, Inc. 

Trusting Kids - With Great Results

        Sophia & Tino  Photo by M Barrett Miller

Yesterday I accompanied Barbara Velatequi, teacher and founder of Aspen (Aids Student Peer Educators at Newport), at Newport High School in Bellevue, Washington, when she brought a number of students to another high school in her district to teach about HIV/AIDS/STI’s.

Recently I wrote about my visit to her classes, and her peer training sessions, at Newport High School. That article (article link) generated responses from all over the world.

 
Unfortunately, the majority of messages I received shared the absence of training, support, and education in communities facing dire health challenges. Many messages included the wish that schools in their country would create peer training as exemplified by Ms. Velatequi and her students.
I wrote back to many people telling them that though these kids are doing incredible work there are other schools, and school districts/administrators, here in the state of Washington that will not allow this training in their schools.
The rationale for not allowing young people to have access to information is complex, though fear and ignorance play a large role in these kinds of decisions that leave our young people at risk.

Sophia and Tino, seniors from Newport High School (12^th level, ages 17/18) addressed sophomores (10^th level, ages 15/16) at Interlake High School, in Bellevue, Washington for ninety minutes. Lindzee Alvarez’s health class was the host and co-organizer, with Barbara Velatequi, for this training.

Before starting the lesson the students were reminded, a number of times, that it was completely fine if they felt uncomfortable with the subject matter and wanted to leave the room.
None did.

Sophia and Tino introduced HIV to the group by having a number of students wear tee shirts with various health status designations on the front of the shirt. Sophia grouped the students according to those designations to show how the body fights infection. When she introduced the person wearing the HIV tee shirt to the group the students quickly realized how rapidly the body lost its defenses.
A simple, effective, persuasive demonstration that got all the kids attention!

Charts, slides, posters, hand outs supported the lesson as it moved from HIV/AIDS to other Sexually Transmitted Infections. A poster outlining the differences between viral, bacterial and parasitic infections helped the students understand which malady could be cured and which ones were lifetime challenges. 

As the following infections were discussed, along with slides showing the effect, students were told if they were a virus, bacterial or a parasite and whether or not they could be cured.

Human Papillomavirus, Chlamydia, Genital Herpes, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Scabies, Pubic Lice (crabs) along with the symptoms, medical procedures for detection, remedies and cures were fully discussed. Sophia and Tino were very matter of fact with each infection telling the students where they could be tested and how best to protect themselves from all infections. They both handled questions in a respectful way even when the questions elicited a bit of laughter from the crowd.

Laced throughout their presentation were reminders that abstinence is a valid choice that offers peace of mind, on many levels, to this age group.

When the review of STI’s was completed Sophia and Tino reviewed birth control, disease protection methods, vaccines (PMV) their effectiveness, the range of choices, where students could receive help, where they could seek confidential testing and how to make informed choices about what kind of condom to use.
After Sophia and Tino showed the kids how to properly use a condom they paired off the kids into twos handing one of the partners a condom. A couple of kids were a bit skittish about unwrapping and applying a condom to their partners outstretched fingers but most took part without a blink. They quickly realized why improper use of a condom has a significantly higher rate of failure than a properly used condom.

Towards the closing minutes Sophia and Tino summarized their lesson and thanked the sophomores for their attention and support of the “Peer Education” program at Newport High School.
They received rousing applause for their presentation!

Having watched six of these presentations I am convinced that training and trusting kids to peer educate is one very strong solution to this ongoing health challenge.

The very good news is that Aspen kids will be making a presentation next month to Graduate students pursuing a Masters of Social Work at the University of Washington.

I look forward to watching how these older students integrate the lesson.

M. Barrett Miller

Let Kids Be Kids, Inc.

What! You don't have five minutes?

No phone calls here! 

A week before Christmas I gave a resident of an assisted living residence, located on Capitol Hill, in Seattle, a ride over to “Ya sure, Ballard” to buy some Scandinavian treats for anticipated family guests during Christmas.

As usual, after my always-early arrival at the home, I chewed up some time waiting and jawing with other residents until Anna was ready for our excursion.
After a bit she entered the parlor all decked out in her Norwegian reindeer sweater and matching toque, similar to the ones she might have worn as a child up north on the chilly Canadian/Minnesota border.

After our little shopping trip to Larsen’s Danish Bakery, and a small floral shop, she asked if I would take her to visit her daughter. I told her I had plenty of time and would be happy to take her for a visit. When she told me we were going to the huge cemetery in north Seattle we shared the balance of the journey in silence. When I entered the gates of the cemetery, that has been doing its business since 1884, she broke the silence to give me directions inside the sprawling landscape. She directed me to the large Lutheran mausoleum towards the eastern border of the grounds. I helped her out of the car and watched her walk to the door of the mausoleum. She stood at the door for a moment before returning to the car. When I asked her what was up she told me she had forgotten the combination. Though she now wanted to go home I convinced her that I could get the combination from someone in the administrative building located across a major four-lane racetrack that divides the memorial grounds.
After flashing two pieces of identification, one had to be photo ID; I was given the four-digit number. Off we went back to where we started from-
I cracked the door for her, helped her cut her flowers and position the flowers high up on the east wall above her daughters crypt.
Anna spent some time inside as I went out and waited in the car.

On the way back to the ‘retirement “ home Anna told me she has outlived her three children, her brother and sister and lots of other close relatives. I knew from previous conversations that her husband had died about twenty years ago when they were both spring seventy something year old chickens-
She told me about the scads of nieces and nephews, grand children, great grandchildren that were scattered all over the Northwest and parts further out.

I saw Anna again on Boxing Day.
She needed a lift to her doctor.
As is apparently our custom, I asked her about her Christmas. She told me she had not heard from one single relative.
Not one person took a few minutes to give her a call!
As I was sputtering some reaction she shared that a number of her “house mates” had mentioned they had not heard from any of their relatives either.
“I didn’t say anything. What would they all think I had done to deserve being ignored? I must be an old witch that no one would want to call.” She dryly sighed at me as we drove through the pouring rain to her doctor’s office.

Really, is everyone so darn busy there is no time left for those that need a moment of love, recognition, acknowledgement.
Well, your message has been received and it may not be the message you meant to send.
Think about it.
Is five minutes out of your life too much to give?

Oh, when I dropped Anna off she wanted to know if I wanted some of the cookies she had bought at Larsen’s.
I didn’t, but I took them anyway. 

M Barrett Miller

Let Kids Be Kids, Inc.

An Old Time Christmas

The 1920’s, in northeastern Montana, were not for the weak and pampered!

 Anna, aged 96, fondly recalls following her father as he drove the horses pulling the plow that allowed she and her sister to plant in the irregular grooves left behind. Wheat, wheat and more wheat along with cows, pigs, chickens, ducks and two small vegetable gardens that sustained the family and contributed a few coins to moms purse on market days were all they had in those days.

Survival and hard work were what made so many of our generations grandmothers so remarkable.

So many of their stories are left untold as few questions are asked by their kids and their kids kids kids…

In winter Anna took part in the endless canning of meat for the summer months. During winter, the freezing weather took care of keeping the meat safe to eat. During summer they canned everything they would need for winter. Canning took up a great deal of their time, as they had to stay a step ahead of the seasons and the needs of the growing family.

School took place in a one-room school that rotated from one ranch to another. It was very basic with an emphasis on reading.

No electricity, a coal fueled kitchen stove, a potbellied wood burner to keep the ice off the inside walls, two outhouses fifty yards down wind from the house were the high tech luxuries that held families together.

Christmas was a very special time of year for everyone within thirty miles of Anna’s home. About nine miles away from the ranch was a Lutheran church that had ministered to the many Norwegians who had accompanied her mom’s immigration twenty-four years before Anna’s arrival.

On Christmas all the families would dress in their best outfits and travel to the church in horse drawn sleighs or in glued together working automobiles belching out scary noises along the roadway. Families arrived early in the morning for a special service, play and program that focused on the kids. The church was gaily decorated with a huge Christmas tree garnished with candles burning brightly. Two men kept a close eye on the tree as well as replacing candles as they burned down.

Each child received one present. Usually the present was functional but occasionally a doll would show up instead of new boots, gloves, sweaters or trousers. Sometimes a boy would receive a pocketknife that spoke of his maturity to the assembled crowd or proud adults.

Food was traditional with every family offering cookies, pies, ham, chicken, duck, homemade wines, and liquors for all to enjoy. Anna recalls one Christmas when a family arrived with a huge crate recently arrived from Norway. Everyone gathered around it as it was opened. It was full of small hand made gifts, jellies, and canned treats for the whole community.

The midday meal was followed by games, song and dancing until everyone was tired or famished or both tired and famished.

As the day darkened a final meal was served which an emphasis on desserts, candied fruit and hard candies hidden for weeks from the kids by anxious moms. 

Everyone snuggled under a ton of blankets as they rode home. The horses had bells attached to their harnesses to ring out Christmas to the darkened snow covered fields bordering the road.

“Those were the best Christmases ever!”

M Barrett Miller

Let Kids Be Kids, Inc.

"Being the change they wish to see..."

Four Members of the Colombia team

Do you want to feel proud of our young people?

If you do, I’ve got the perfect suggestion.

Take a moment to look at what a number of teens are doing here and in communities overseas.

The YMCA Global Teen Leadership program recently held their awards and recognition ceremony for Seattle area teens that travelled last summer to Colombia, Senegal and to Japan.

 
The kids are part of a twelve-month program designed to “develop international understanding, leadership skills and cultural competency.”
These young people are not passive visitors to a country, they provide service work in the community they visit. Some worked on refurbishing a schoolhouse, some in areas devastated by the recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan, and some were working on a water project in Senegal.

The kids stayed with host families, travelled the countryside and interacted with kids their own age as much as possible.

At the recent ceremony it was inspiring to hear the kids talk about how their trip impacted them. They spoke emotionally about their host families, other kids they met in Colombia, Senegal and Japan, and how they helped raise the money to fund their team.
No one gets left behind if they are selected to participate on a team.
Its one for all and all for one!
Every student touched on how their involvement with the YMCA Global Leadership program has changed they way they look at their school work, their place in society and their ability to create change in the world.

Could we possibly ask for any more?

Thank you YMCA for the great work you’re doing with our young people.

* Present members of the Global Teen Leadership program are in the process of finalizing their commitments to participate in the “European Y Festival in Prague, Czech Republic, 1 August to 10 August 2013.
An anticipated 10,000 young people, from across the world, will travel to Prague to find commonality and community with other young people “being the change they want to see in the world.”
See www.yefestival.com for more information on the conference.

If you know a young person interested in Prague, Korea or Japanese Language for 2013...and for more countries in 2014 such as Senegal, and Colombia. See: http://www.seattleymca.org/Locations/Global/Pages/Home.aspx

Let Kids Be Kids, Inc. is committed to supporting this incredible opportunity for our kids-

Cappy's Boxing Gym - Building Confidence.

      At Cappy's Photo by M Barrett Miller

When I wandered into Cappy’s the other day I was slightly surprised to see a number of high school girls ripping thunderous hooks into heavy bags.
I shouldn’t have been surprised.
I knew better than to expect an all boys boxing club.

As I watched, neither the girls nor boys broke stride as they moved from the heavy bags to floor exercises. The floor exercise routine included jumping jacks, crunches; push ups and shadow boxing at their elevated feet while doing modified sit-ups.
A drill involving throwing five combinations at your partner, who fields the punches with a flat mitt, followed the exercise interlude.
This is how it goes for sixty minutes.
The kids rotate from station to station pounding away at bags, mitts, shadows, jumping, squatting, running in place, dancing, firing away punches and firing away punches.
I found I grew tired as I watched them, and I was sitting in a chair!!
They could have gone longer!

The next day I was back to watch a smaller group do what they had done the day before, but with a few added challenges to keep them on their toes.
Literally!
They rotated from pummeling a heavy bag to finesse punches setting up their “knock-out” shot.
Don’t kid yourself! A few of these kids could definitely bring stars to your eyes.
And, you know what?  They’re loving every moment of it.
Here, watch the video. It will give you a good sense of what’s going on at the gym.

Yesterday I enjoyed the opportunity to speak with Coach Mike Priebe. After a few comments about the routine and how the kids enjoy the challenges we got right down to it.
Confidence.
Mike, and the other coaches, help develop confidence in kids so they have that little extra internal “go to place” to support them when times get a little hectic.
Their minds and bodies get tuned to support their changing self-image.
Self-image is so important to kids developing through their teens.
A poor self-image leads too many kids down paths they probably wouldn’t take if they felt just a little better about themselves.
When kids have confidence in themselves they tend to lean back on the robes and take a longer view before throwing themselves into a decision.
Cappy’s is there to help-

Cappy’s Boxing Gym is doing some great work for a lot of kids in our communities.

Thanks Cappy!

M Barrett Miller
Let Kids Be Kids

We Can Do Better - Can't We?

Homeless in Seattle
Photo by M Barrett Miller

What you're looking at is one persons sleeping loft. 

Well, maybe not a loft!

She has found a little space out of the rain. 

Her worldly goods are in those two shopping carts. They are parked there while she begs within sight of the carts and all her earthly pocessions.

Here are a few questions, suggested by a number of national agencies, for consideration and action if you think she could use a hand- 

Your voice will count if you let your elected officials know your thoughts and feelings.

• Would our/your community be better off if we made year-round shelter and day and hygiene services available to more of the people who need and want them?   
• Do you support addition shelter funds for homeless families?                  
• Should we maintain specialized child care services for the youngest children who are homeless?  
• Does it make sense to increase our city's investment in giving people safe, warm, dry places to be at night and during the day, or would you rather see people moved from place to place as the days get shorter and the nights get colder?   

If we have the will, there are solutions!!

"Times Winged Chariot Hurries Near..."

                   Eric photo by M Barrett Miller

“Times Winged Chariot Hurries Near…”

As Eric shuffles towards his eighty third birthday he recently shared with me his thoughts on what he’s learned from his run.
A theme he returns to often is that people today have lost sight of what’s most important. “They run this way and that way looking for more stuff to make them feel good about themselves.”
He shares that when he was a kid in Kansas, before the “big war”, no one had much of anything. “We made do with what we had. We never seemed to want what the fella down the road had. I mean, if he was doing fine we were happy about it. Not jealous.”

As the War ground on, Eric, barely a teenager, got a job selling farm equipment. He was good enough at it to squirrel away a little bit of money, after contributing to the family needs, towards his education.
He did well enough in high school to get accepted into college. Later, at the University of Kansas he earned his PhD.
He didn’t wander far off campus after graduation. He taught, on a part time basis, anatomy and physiology to pre-med students.
Money was very tight in those Kansas days!
In order to pay his bills, and help out his family, Eric agreed to work for his uncle who operated a successful mortuary in town.
Until 1980 he remained in Kansas working full time in the funeral home. The call of the west, and changing times in Kansas lured Eric to the Pacific Northwest.
“When I got into eastern Washington I was completely enveloped in a cloud of dust. It was so quiet, eerie quiet! I didn’t know the volcano had blown until I stopped at a diner off the hi-way. Boy, was I ever surprised!”

Eric made Bainbridge Island his home for years.
He ran a number of funeral homes until the doctors told him, after his fourth heart attack, that he needed to consider moving to the “mainland.”
On a good day Eric’s heart is operating at about 30%.
The doc’s have said they could try for a repair but the odds were long on his surviving the operation.
Eric is okay with that news.
He has chosen to live on knowing that he is in “right now” and able to enjoy, and be ready, for whatever comes his way.
When we are together we laugh a lot about the craziness around us. He likes to poke fun at some of the zanier politicians wondering why they are so mean. “Don’t they understand how quickly this will go by? In a snap your stay is over. Why not share your heart while you’re here rather than wasting time chasing things and broken ideas.”

Why indeed!

M. Barrett Miller

Let Kids Be Kids, Inc.

"Hey, is that an angel at the door?"

A friend of mine has entered what may be his final dance with AIDS. 
Whenever he has the opportunity to share his story, and the challenges of his diagnosis and how people have reacted to him, Trudy James’s name is always part of the story.

When he first arrived in Seattle he was as sick as a dog.
His family had walked away from when he was diagnosed.
He had no friends in the community.
He was in bad shape.
Long into his hospital stay he received a visitor that would change his life.
One lonely afternoon he was sitting in a chair looking out his hospital window towards the Olympic Mountain range, when he heard a soft knock on the door.
The lady who entered took one look at him, crossed the room and gave him a big hug. (These were the days when large warning signs hung on patient doors warning people of the patient’s medical status.)
My friend loves to share that she said, “Help is on the way.”
He further shares that she was the first non-medical person to touch him in months.
He often chokes up when he shares this moment.

I first met Trudy at a meeting at Multifaith Works, an organization dedicated to serving those challenged by HIV/AIDS and other debilitating diseases. I had joined a “CareTeam” made up of students who had volunteered to offer support to a “Care Partner” seeking camaraderie.

Because of Trudy’s insightful management, empathy and orchestration of teams supporting the sick, my respect and admiration for her has grown exponentially!

A few years ago Trudy left Multifaith Works to found Heartwork, a non-profit dedicated to working closer with people dealing with planning and decision-making in preparation for the final grand adventure.

To understand her path, and the incredible contributions she has given to everyone she has touched, I will share a bit of her journey.

Trudy is a trained hospital chaplain. She graduated from the University of Kansas and Union Theological Seminary in New York City.
She was the founder, then Executive Director, of the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN) in Arkansas.
In seven years, 1500 faith-based RAIN volunteers served over 500 individuals with AIDS—20% of the AIDS population in Arkansas at that time.
Trudy was passionate about recruiting, training and supporting volunteer CareTeams and shared the AIDS CareTeam program model with ten other states. 


In 1997, she moved to Seattle and began a successful CareTeam program under the umbrella of Multifaith Works, a nonprofit dedicated to compassionate community-building.
She served as CareTeam Program Director and CareTeam Program Specialist for eleven years, retiring to focus on Heartwork.
Trudy also served as a per diem Chaplain at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance for five years and continues to give phone, hospital and home support to individuals with life-threatening diagnoses or on-going illness.
She is on the Advisory Board for Compassion and Choices of Washington and on the Outreach Board for Foss Home and Village.
She does ongoing “5 Wishes” and bereavement groups for Providence Point Community, Issaquah, and Northaven Senior Living, Seattle and other venues throughout the Northwest.

A couple of months ago a teaching colleague, and friend, got the diagnosis he never wanted to hear.
After talking long and hard with friends, doctors and family he decided to go for chemo treatment #1, and if needed, chemo treatment #2.
Each week I would drive him to the hospital for his treatments.
About mid way through chemo #2 he told me he was going to pass on the third level of treatment.
After way too long in silence I asked him if he wanted to talk to anyone outside of family and friends.
He did.
About a month after introducing him to Trudy we were headed up to his doctors one afternoon when I asked him what he thought about talking with her. He said, “It’s kinda like talking to an angel.”
Well said.

Check out Heartwork, you’ll find that my friend was right-

Oh, if you get a chance to meet Trudy ask her about breakfast in the White House with Bill Clinton and Al Gore. 

M Barrett Miller
Let Kids Be Kids, Inc.

Trusting Kids to Teach About HIV/AIDS

Students at the Annual AIDS Walk Photo by M Barrett Miller

Trusting Kids to Teach About HIV/AIDS to Their Peers!

I am not often blown away, but I was totally rocked back on my heels this week by a number of students at Newport High School, in Bellevue, Washington.

Every year Seattle hosts an “Annual AIDS Walk” in Volunteer Park. For the last dozen or so years I have shot lots of photos of the activities that generate donations towards ending the HIV/AIDS scourge in our local and global communities.
I like to concentrate on kids supporting the event, as their involvement will help educate and curtail the spread of the disease in the future.
Each year the most visible kids are wearing very cool ASPEN sweatshirts. This year I was able to talk with a couple of kids, and introduce myself to their teacher, Barbara Velatequi.
During our quick conversation we agreed to exchange emails. My hope was to visit with her, and her students, at the school so I could get a better idea of her program and why these kids are so enthusiastic and dedicated.
I also wanted to know why Ms. Velatequi had dedicated the last nineteen years to educating kids about HIV/AIDS, STI’s and behaviors that might put them at risk.

Unfortunately there are still too many “adults” that think kids are, to use Ms. Velatequi’s words, lazy, untrustworthy, sexually active, drug addicted, and permanently plugged into loud, obnoxious music.

Not so-

My experience, with many schools, is that they forbid any realistic sex education classes. A number of them have requested that the speakers I have brought in to visit with students, about living with HIV/AIDS, do not speak about sexuality, their particular life style, contraceptives or anything that might challenge their sole message of abstinence. When that happens we try to make the best of it and hope the kids see through the blockade.
I felt confidant that the kids I had talked with at the AIDS Walk were not treated in a similar fashion.

After a number of emails with Ms. Velatequi I was scheduled to spend a morning in two classes at the high school.
A few days before the visit I received a number of answers to my questions to Ms. Velatequi on why she had taken the risk, 19 years ago, to introduce a mature curriculum in the face of traditional administrative and parental objections. She had accepted the state mandate to teach about HIV/AIDS though little did anyone realize how well she was going to rock the status quo with her kids-

“…Changing human behavior is a daunting task; as a rule people do not like to change! Add to this barrier the young adults’ sense of invulnerability, and HIV prevention work becomes a greater challenge. For every barrier there is a solution, and the power of a dedicated, well-trained and passionate group of teens was my solution. I knew I could harness positive peer pressure, personalize the HIV/STI risks, help my students develop empathy for people living with HIV, and model acceptance of every human being. The ASPEN Educators could break through barriers and reduce the spread of HIV and other STI’s…”

With that, added to some other remarks of hers in mind, I arrived at the school ready to see what was what-

The first class I observed was made up of juniors and seniors. They were practicing a demonstration they would later use when they conducted a class for freshman and sophomores. The three girls orchestrating the demonstration had each student in the room share their cup of water with three other students. They were told to keep a record of whom they shared the fluid with.
Almost immediately a number of students noticed that the fluid in their cups took on a light pink color. (A chemical had been added to a statistically accurate amount of cups)
They were the infected ones!
The “healthy” students sat down with a sigh of relief.
The girls walked their fellow students through the process of determining who was the source of the infection.
As you can imagine there was some lighthearted banter as reality focused in on one student who started the infectious ball rolling.
A great demonstration!

Ms. Velatequi gave me the high sign to join her in the hall. She told me, as we walked downstairs, that two of her students were about to conduct a ninety-minute class with sophomores in a Health Class. The students we were going to visit only had the very basics on HIV/AIDS, STI’s etc.
This is what I wanted to see!

For ninety minutes two young ladies walked their fellow students through the most comprehensive training I have ever seen outside of medical school.
They did a better delivery of information than I have done in 23 years of presentations.
Better than I ever did in my college classroom!
Their use of posters, slides, poignant questions directed to students, humor, demonstrations, acceptance of choices, abstinence as a valid choice, compare and contrast, definitions, on board pre-written statements of challenges & solutions, walking around the room, recognizing unstated questions, statistics, sources, resources is a model for all of us given the opportunity to share knowledge with students.
I have seen embarrassment in student’s eyes when adults present touchy information to a class. I didn’t see one kid react that way during this presentation.

While watching these two girls I so wished they had been in my suitcase when I shared information in the third world to people so at risk.
I wished they had been conducting the “lesson” in every classroom I’ve ever walked into-
At the end of the presentation I shared with Ms. Velatequi, and the two girls, exactly what I have written above about their presentation.
I told them they should take their presentation on the road!
They seemed pleased.
Ms. Velatequi told me the girls had practiced for hours and hours and hours.
Under her tutelage these kids knocked it out of the park!

While talking with the students they shared their understanding of ASPEN and its reach beyond the sharing of information about HIV/AIDS.

“…The ASPEN program is to promote acceptance of all people, engage in service work to support those living with HIV, teach prevention strategies to reduce the transmission of HIV/STI’s, and create a diverse group of peer educators who will serve as role models and as a resource for all students at Newport High School. One of the five lessons that that ASPEN educators teach is the Diversity Lesson. This lesson is the celebration of diverse populations to whom we deliver our lesson. Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Gay, Straight, Transgendered, American, Middle Eastern, Chinese, young and old, everyone is deserving of respect, equal treatment, and physical and emotional safety. Acceptance of all people, a realization that we are all citizens in a global community, is the foundation of the ASPEN program…”

These kids are not just talking blue sky; they’ve been accepted in the greater community.

“In the past two years kids in the ASPEN program have had the opportunity, through the World Affairs Council, to meet with world leaders who are working on HIV prevention in their countries.
Last March, ASPEN hosted 10 teens from Serbia to share education curricula, strategies, and pizza. Face book, email, and skyping have allowed this collaboration to continue.
ASPEN is now needed, respected, and cherished by Lifelong AIDS Alliance and Dunschee House, both highly respected organizations in Seattle.
ASPEN students have served as keynote speakers and entertainers at the Seattle AIDS Walk as well as being phenomenal fundraisers.
Last year twenty-six ASPEN students raised over $45,000 for Lifelong AIDS Alliance, more money than any other team in the walk, including Microsoft, Starbucks, and every other corporate sponsor.
The team has also been entrusted with a food delivery route for Chicken Soup Brigade; each week two of the students pick up meals for clients of Lifelong AIDS Alliance. These deliveries ensure that their clients will be well fed for the week.”

When you Trust Kids amazing things will happen.

Can you see why I was blown away?

M Barrett Miller

Let Kids Be Kids